ITFAQS * I Turned 50 and Quit Smoking. Why are you so...?

Why Are You So Mistaken??

2010-04-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

CAUGHT IN PASSING somewhere near Ottawa

Heard in passing, "You must have misheard my misspeech when I misspoke. See I wasn't influence peddling. I was pedalling Influence!"

Why not be Amazed!

2010-04-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

King Alfred Daffodils

"It's the most wonderful time of the year," was really written for the wrong season. It really should be a Spring song (of which they are depressingly few) rather than a Christmas song of which there really are plenty. Besides, Spring celebrates that other magical season, Easter. Spring brings with her all the hope that's been pent up for the winter. Everyone who has planted a bulb or bush last Fall has been waiting for this.

Parrot Tulip

Bloodroot

Pulmonaria

Wood Anemone

Hybrid Narcissus

Copyright 2010 by the Stargeazer

Helleborus

Why Are You So Skeptical?

2010-04-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

Gardening Time has Begun

GARDEN - Get At Raking Dirt Evenly Now.

It is that time again and it has come so early. Even with that you just can't predict what you're going to see in the garden this time of year. Whether you're checking out the pansies, the daffodils or the blood-root you never know what you might see.

Even the flower buds on the fruit trees are breaking open and that might spell disaster for the fruit crop. If we get a hard frost it will kill the flower buds and that means no fruit. And no fruit means no fruits of our labours. All the maintenance of the fruit trees will be just that, maintenance.

Sour cherries come on quickly and need to be pitted before being frozen.

We really enjoy making our own apple sauce and cider or freezing apple slices from the Lodi apple in August for those late Fall apple pies. Pears are tricky to pick at just the right ripeness but keen observation and perseverance reward the grower.

So, it's hard not to be skeptical when such odd things are going on all around. I don't believe we will get a fruit crop this year no matter how much we wish it. This year may be an anomaly but this may also be another situation influenced by Global Warming.

But it's hard not to be skeptical about so many things going on today.

But, I am not skeptical about a Conservative cabinet minister going rangy over a simple security check. I am not skeptical about her husband, a former MP trying to peddle his influence, such as it may be, to friends and associates from his wife's Parliament Hill office.. No skepticism here about that.

You may be skeptical about the garden gnomes you see here. I may be brought to wondering what was in my pre-dinner Scotch and skeptical about the reputed origins of the liquid but I am not at all skeptical about the shame and disrepute these people bring to an institution which, for the most part is made of honest , hard-working and well-meaning people.

Why Are You So Fashion Concious?

2010-04-07T21:02:00.000-07:00

I have two jackets, windbreakers actually, that I love. They are made of microfibre which means they could have been made to imitate any material, natural or synthetic, known to humankind. These happen to be like the finest kid leather ever known to dress a baby goat. And I used to raise goats and delivered many kids so I know whereof I speak. These jackets are so luxurious, but inexpensive. I love these jackets but, sadly, they are destined for the "Diabetes Society" clothing bin. They are comfortable, soft, well-fitted, tailored and attractive but they have to go! I've tried for months to get used to them but it just won't happen.

I can not tolerate the DOUBLE POCKETS! Who is the fashionista who dreamed up these insidious, vexing and infuriating adds-on to what would otherwise be highly desirable articles of clothing? One of these pockets is zippered and the other is not. Any article for which one reaches is in the zippered pouch of the damnable duo. If it is not in the zippered pouch then the zipper must be open and the back of the hand that has reached in scrapes rudely across the tiny, sharp teeth. Whatever I need or want from these pockets is never in the one I reach first. What is the use of these? They are frustrating and aggravating, so, as much as I do love them, they've got to go.

I'm just too P'd O. I'm too P'd O. That is correct. Think about it. What does P.O.'d mean? Nothing. P'd O would be correct. Take mother-in-law, governor-general and court-martial. There would be two mothers-in-law, governors-general or courts-martial. If your mother-in-law owns a car it's your mother-in-law's car. It's the governor-general's house and the court-martial's venue. Nobody knows how to use apostrophes these days. They are used for possessive cases, some plural possessives and contractions. That is the lady's car. Those are the ladies' cars. Don't take any wooden nickles. There is no apostrophe in a simple plural case.

Remember when Timmy used to say to his Mom, "Porky and me are going over to the old well and we'll try not to fall in?" Mom always corrected him and said, "Porky and "I" are going to the old well and it's O.K. if you fall in because Lassie will come and get Gramps and me to rescue you." Mom used "me" correctly, in the objective case.

Why Are You So Shocked?

2010-04-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Shocked - Should Hydro Ontario Covertly Kindle Electrical Demand ?

How shocking is it really that Hydro rates are going up? It's hardly even news it happens with such certainty and regularity. All the experts keep telling us that we have to pay what it costs. So, now along with debt servicing charges (all electrical puns intended) from the old Ontario Hydro and delivery charges (Canada Post would be cheaper) and line losses we now will have to fork up "Time of Use" charges, HST and a Green Energy incentive, surcharge or whatever.

Are you smarter than a "Smart Meter?" Can you outwit that whirligig bolted to the outside wall? You might have a better chance if it stopped flashing so fast. It's like a VLT, the numbers keep flashing in a bewildering blur but there's never a payout. So this new meter will help us plan our Hydro consumption and make us aware of off-peak bonanzas that await us. By the way weekends are all off peak so we can start by doing all our cooking for the week on Saturday and Sunday. That should all go in the freezer but if you time it right things won't start to go bad until next weekend. Should do the laundry then too I suppose. Wow those dishes really pile up over the week, we should do those. That birdhouse project your daughter was supposed to take to school last week could be done now too. The time lock is off the power saw. Is it Monday morning already? Time to throw the big switch on the panel again.

No. You can't outsmart the Smart Meter. Shocked? Everything About Hydro is Shocking.

Copyright 2010 by the Stargeazer

Why Are You So Puzzled? (7)

2010-03-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

Answers for Puzzle #6

Across:

3. Grotto

5. Lockers

7. Arthur

Down:

1. Eric

2. Horse

4. Gleam

6. Emus

Movie: CAROUSEL

IT"S TOUGH TO BE A LIBERAL THESE DAYS

(To the tune of It's Tough to be a Liberal These Days by M. Nitsch 2004.)

It's tough to be a Liberal these days,
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But it turned out to be just a dream.

If I were a Liberal here's what I would do
I'd take off my hands one-by-one
'Cause if I couldn't vote for the left or the right
Then I can't be blamed for who won.

Then I'd take those hands to a rally I'd host
And I'd find out where both speakers stand
I'd get in between so it's easy for me
To give Stephen and Mike both a hand.

And it's tough to be a Liberal these days
The Whip doesn't care where you're at,
You try to be a good MP so
You go to him with hand in hat.

It's tough to be a Liberal these days
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But you woke up and found it a dream.

But just try to imagine how tough it is to be Conservative right now!

Why Are You So Flightly?

2010-03-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Living in the country puts one through a particular experience city-dwellers don't usually have to face. This is the scourge know as CLUSTER FLIES. As the name implies, when conditions are right the sun heats windows, doors, frames and trim on the warm days of False Spring and Indian Summer, Hundreds of flies emerge from wherever they happen to have been hiding and buzz around on windows in huge clusters. During the day when they emerge their metabolism seems to accelerate so much that most are dead before afternoon tea.Then there's the problem of cleaning up all those dead and many not-so-dead flies. Usually the vacuum cleaner does a good job of that.

For the first time, a few years ago, we had virtually no cluster flies for at least two seasons in a row. Instead we had hundreds of Ladybugs or as they are more properly called, ladybird beetles. But it seems that these benign and even friendly looking beetles are an imported species run amok on this continent after some well-meaning entomologist set them loose on some unsuspecting prey. Apparently it is possible to tell the foreign species from the domestic by the number of spots on its back. I have seen beetles with 0, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 or more spots and I don't have the foggiest notion which might be the domestic variety. There was one that seemed to respond to "bonjour" but that could have been domestic or continental. It is apparent though, that when the beetles are around the flies are not or at least the flies appear in much, much smaller numbers. It seems that the beetles do the job for which they were imported, to eat the eggs and larvae of the pests. Purists would say that all the foreign beetles should be rounded up and deported but they should be welcomed and encouraged with a hearty "bon appetite!" Anything that helps control those cluster flies is welcome in my country.

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Touchy?

2010-03-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

ANN COULTER:

A Nother Neo-Con Ostensibly Uses Logic To Expound "Righteousness"

There isn't much more to say about Ann Coulter except to wish that her charisma and obvious literary and oratory skills could be used to really help people instead of just helping her to become a latter-day William F. Buckley Jr. in a miniskirt.

Crocodiles have been around since the time of the dinosaurs and in fact are direct descendants of them. Since they are so tough-mouthed it's almost impossible to have a reasoned debate with one especially when it's hungry for attention and smells blood. They might usually look a bit slow and lumbering but watch that National Geographic special again, the one about the wildebeest migration and the rest stop at the ole watering hole. You just can't trust anything or anyone with that many white teeth. What else is there to say?

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Disappointed?

2010-03-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

False Spring

"April is the cruelest month," T.S. Eliot wrote in his 1922 poem, The Wasteland. Eliot did not know about global warming so it is only possible to speculate what he may have thought of, "March is the cruelest month." Whatever the month surely its cruelty is in what it seems to promise, a warm sunny Spring but then rips away just as we begin to savour it.

The snowdrops are just about open at the base of the red maple. The silver maples have that reddish haze over their crowns.
Crocus and daffodils near the south end of thee house reach for the warmth that is both collected and reflected by the stones of the foundation. Robins are finding worms slowly creeping out of their thawing tunnels.Boots and parka have been moved to the hall closet and have been replaced with leather shoes on the mat and a windbreaker on the coat rack by the door. The windshield scraper is in the trunk along with the empty container of windshield washer fluid. All these and temperatures in the mid-to-high teens are sure and certain signs of spring that have been with us for at least four or five days now. And the snow is virtually gone! The thermostat has even been turned back a few degrees.

Then you wake and feel chilled. It's dark still since Daylight Savings Time just started a few days ago. But looking at the window blind there seems to be more light coming in around the edges than there should be. If you don't look it could be that the 10 centimeters of snow aren't really there. You don't need more than slippers and a windbreaker to go out to get the scraper and washer fluid. That snow is really cold on the feet as you try to get to the car so it can warm up a bit. The robins are at the bird feeder making do with sunflower seeds and millet. All the would-bloom flowers are covered in that white blanket.

It was just one of Nature's cruelties, False Spring, those five days of hope. It doesn't matter what month it strikes, March or April. At least each False Spring brings us that much closer to the real thing

Why Are You So Loonie?

2010-03-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

"OK you guys pay attention. Where are we going? I Don't know. Let's vote on it. No way, we might win!

Speaking of the Conservatives, it seems they have manipulated the media into thinking the Afghan Detainees issue is about public . disclosure of the documents. Not so. The Government is in contempt of Parliament because it refuses to hand over the documents requested by the Parliamentary Committee on Afghanistan to that Committee. There are no National Security issues in that case. No one on the Opposition side has said it wants public disclosure. The Opposition wants the Committee to see the relevant documents. It will then be up to the Committee to decide on the degree of disclosure to the public.

Frustration just continues to build as the Opposition parties try to convince the Canadian public that they really are OPPOSED but they do not have the political courage to actually do something about it. There must be some issue over which the Opposition would fight an election. What do you suppose it is? It';s not prorogation. It's not the Throne Speech or the ensuing Budget. Fans of "A Christmas Story" may like to see a "Triple Dog Dare" laid at the feet of one of the Leaders. Surely they would have to act on that. You can't back down from a "Triple Dog Dare" and still hold your head up on The Hill.

LOON: Lord Of Our North
LOONIE: Lording Over Our National Interest; Exchange

What happened? When did it happen? I don't remember being away anywhere. Why didn't someone tell me? Oh, it might have been in the middle of that unfortunately timed Alien abduction thing. My right armpit was quite sore for a time and that can redirect anyone's attention. The point is, when did THEY put an imitation of Daffy Duck on our one dollar coin? The date on the first one I received was 2008 but I first got one this month. That bird is positively deranged. Loons will flap their wings when sitting on the water. They might even splash a bit when they do so but they do not grin about it. They do not make spectacles of themselves. They are Canadian and they show decorum. What was wrong with the noble loon on our first one dollar coin, the namesake of The Loonie? This new thing does not even strike one as being finished.. It looks like it should be struck again and again and again.

If all this bothers you as much as it does me, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look at the portrait on the obverse side. I said NOT!!! Our monarch is Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth II, I thought. But look! I know I said not to. Why are we looking at Charlton Heston with a big hairpiece as the young Moses in the court of the Pharaoh?

Change sucks!

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Hare-Brained?

2010-03-16T08:15:00.001-07:00

Our furry friend shown here is cousin to two newly-famous-again lapins, the White Rabbit and the March Hare of Tim Burton's version of Alice in/through Wonderland/(Underland)/the Looking Glass.

Our snowshoe hare looks much less dithery than either of the cousins. He's dignified and wise looking. and even though his coat is glossy and clean you just know he's seen more than a few moults. He's the kind of hare you'd want as leader in a crisis. In spite of his years you get the feeling he'd stand up to a crafty weasel or even a slobbering dumb-as-a-post hound. A rabbit is a rabbit but a good hare is a potential PM.

As for the movie; it's complicated. But in spite of the complications we are utterly transported to Underland and Through the Looking Glass, led and followed by a spectacular cast of actors and voice-actors.There could have been more of the flamingo-head croquet by some people's reckoning. You just want to hug Tweedledum and Tweedledee before you give them a good smack. The Mad Hatter is just that and delightfully so, in the spirit of Captain Jack, in "Pirates..." and Roux in "Chocolat." Helena Bonham Carter is deliciously evil and spiteful as the Red Queen.Alan Rickman would be a truly authentic hookah-smoking caterpillar of any colour and Stephen Fry was born to smile without a face.

It's difficult not to make comparisons with Avatar but how detailed does a completely fictionalized world have to be before it seems "unrealistic?" That term has been used in reviewing movies in our household ever since one of our children dubbed the all-rolled-up-into-a-ball black little boy who was one of Peter Pan's "Lost Boys" in "Hook" as "unrealistic!" So, you forget about the meticulously rendered fictionalized plants and insects and you think about the story. Alice has the better story - hands down. Alice has more believable characters. Avatar Avarice far outweighs any Alice Avarice. No one should be sorry that Alice beat Avatar last weekend at the box office, least of all James Cameron. It's so unseemly for a Canadian to be so greedy.

Copyright 2010 by the Stargeazer

Whay Are You So Puzzled? (6)

2010-03-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

Mini-Cross Puzzle #6

Answers for Puzzle #5:

Across: 1. adobe        Down: 2. gravely
             5. Noma                 3. pennant
             6. heel                   4. hobbitt
             7. Hobbitt
Movie: Body Heat

Why Are You So Surprised?

2010-03-12T13:35:00.000-08:00

Toyota Tim - It may just be a typo or a slip of the old clutch but I thought I saw that the new Roll up the RIM contest features 31 000 000 Toyotas as prizes. That solves a few problems all at once.

Avatarest? - Say it ain't so Jim. Say it ain't so. You are not really going to re-release Avatar in an extended version in summer 2010, are you? If you do it will just have to be Avatar Avarice. There's no other name for it.

EDT - We in North America have been living with early Daylight Time for a few years now and I must say it's improved my life immeasurably

I have an extra hour to get the car out of the mud hole that once was a driveway.
I have an extra hour to really perfect my slice at the driving range.
I have an extra hour to work on my roll cast to use at the creek on opening day
I have an extra hour at the Mall because I don't like driving in the dark.
I have an extra hour to use those low energy compact light bulbs.

LCBO for SALE? It appears that Ontario's Liberal government is seriously considering the (at least) partial sale of the LCBO., which might soon stand for Lavish Corporate Bonuses Often. Put your hand up if you think this move will bring the price of booze down? Wave if you think this will lead to business decisions that will promote domestic wine and spirits over imports which are flooding our markets currently. Honk if you think that Ontario taxpayers and consumers will actually be better off after the sale just like users of the 407 are better off after Mike Harris' yard sale.

Why Are You So Puzzled? (5a)

2010-03-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Consider this a continuation of yesterday's post since it is going to be about a puzzle too. Let's have a look at another one of those number puzzles I mentioned earlier. The last attempt at an explanation wasn't really very good so, here goes again!

Here's a sample puzzle with four given numbers and all the totals of rows, columns and diagonals. We want to find a row or column which can only accommodate two ones or two nines. Look at the second column. A total of 6 must be added in 3 digits. These digits could be 4,1 and 1. Place the 4 above the 7 and the ones in the last two spaces of the column.

Now check out the second row from the top. It contains two fours, leaving 26 - 8 or 18 tto fill into 2 spaces. Two nines are the only possibility. We see that the placement of the 9's and ones confirms the four placed in the second column. If that 4 were a five, one of the ones would have to be zero but that's impossible. If the four were a three one of the nines must go up to ten, also impossible.

Search for other similar situations with the remaining numbers and blanks.

The third column needs a total of 6 to complete so try a five and a one with the five in the top row. Now a nine is needed in the top

The rest fills in easily

VOILA!

Why Are You So Puzzled? (5)

2010-03-09T19:58:00.001-08:00

Sarah Palin - Some Alaskan Republicans Are Hypocrites
Publicly Admitting Leeching International Nursing

Wow! It almost defies belief.Sarah Palin speaking in Calgary admits to stealing health care from Canadians and now she's been criticizing our system. Her family crossed the border from Alaska to Yukon to get publicly funded health care from clinics in Whitehorse. That would be considered Free Trade wouldn't it?And they have the gall to complain about some 2x4s we try to sell in their market. But maybe Sarah Palin is on to something here somewhat the way she mistakenly used the word irony correctly. Instead of going to all the trouble of creating a new American Healthcare System, the US could just give us a couple of trillion dollars and they could all use ours. We might need a few more bridges and border crossings but that would create thousands of construction jobs. There could be an entire Healthcare zone along the border with a hospital or clinic every few kilometres. Imagine the spin-offs! Thanks Sarah.

Why Are You So Star Struck?

2010-03-09T03:22:00.001-08:00

STARS - Sky Treasures And Rewarding Sights

The past few nights have been wonderful for Stargeazing. The next few promise to be as clear and bright so take the time to look. The winter sky gives us some spectacular sights that should not be missed.

You don't need a lot of equipment to go outside at about 10:30p.m., face West and look for three bright stars aligned in an almost-horizontal row. These are the stars of Orion's Belt, Alnitak, Alnilam and Mintaka. (There will be a test.). These three also form something of a pointer, to the left, to Sirius, one of the Dog stars and the brightest star in the winter sky. Not to far above the Belt is a bright, reddish star, Betelgeuse, pronounced "Bettlejooze," unlike the Michael Keaton movie, Beetlejuice.

Almost immediately overhead is another reddish, or slightly orange object, the planet, Mars. Nearby, slightly to the right of Mars is a pair of nearly identical stars quite close together. These are the twins, Castor and Pollux, the "stars" of the constellation, Gemini.

Turn to the Southeast and look about 40 degrees above the horizon to a bright, yellowish object. You'll be looking at the planet, Saturn, the one with the most prominent rings. You'll need a telescope to see those.

If you watch Mars and Saturn for a few nights you might notice that they move against the background of stationary stars. This occurs because they are much closer to us than any stars and the planets move in their own orbits around the sun.

When you get home tonight after that meeting don't forget to look up, way, way up and enjoy some of the wonders of the winter sky.

Why Are You So Starstruck?

2010-03-07T09:20:00.001-08:00

OSCARS - Oscar Shows Cinema Awards Really Suck

It seems that no matter who is hired to host the Oscar Show it turns out to be a disappointment, Some time ago Billy Crystal tried and he may have actually hosted two shows. Where is he now? John Stewart was going to save the show but his stint didn't lift him very far out of the late night pit. Last year Hugh Jackman started out really well but then just seemed to run out steam.

Tonight's hosts could well be heading for a major train wreck primarily because of Steve Martin. What was he thinking when he took on Pink Panther? That one was measured in megatons so why would he ever do another that would go down in gigatons? Let's hope his judgement has improved and we see again the brilliance he brought to films like "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" and "Roxanne." Alec Baldwin could go either way.

OSCARS - Oscar Shows Cinema Awards Reward Success

Avatar has to win Best Picture. It has just made too much for the industry to be ignored. Case closed. Sorry, to underdogs everywhere.

Why Are You So Manipulative?

2010-03-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

The PMO - The Prime Minister's Office

The PMO is a number of things. It is the space that the PM occupies when he is at work on Parliament Hill. It is the entire entourage of handlers, advisors, media liaison and other staffers who help the PM carry out his functions.

Legend has it that somewhere in the physical PMO is a secret panel known only to the PM by which he can gain access to the other PMO, the Puppet Master's Operations. Here, it is said, are planned, made and enacted, the political and operational strategies by which the PM runs the country.

There is in this room, according to the legend, a large, articulated map of the country made out of thirteen pieces of reinforced plasticine which is easily manipulated through the network of cables attached to them. And there are strings attached. A yank here, a tug there and a few jerks everywhere allow the Puppet Master to bring the whole amorphous blob into shape and towing the line, each piece of the map in sync with its neighbours and the whole.

Throughout the map are the heartstrings of the country. They reach everywhere and they are extremely sensitive to the proper stimulation. If they are used opportunistically or cynically they become de-sensitized. They can be tugged occasionally but woe betide the Puppet Master who overuses them because they are not unbreakable.

In another part of the other, legendary PMO is the finger puppet collection. According to rumor, the PM particularly enjoys playing with these representations of his favourite and not-so-favoured acquaintances. Opposition leaders, Premiers, Toronto Star Staff and CBC personnel figure prominently in this collection. Every day, allegedly, two are chosen as "Special Finger" puppets and are so honoured for the entire day. Unfortunately these finger puppets are all tiny and weak and don't seem to understand that they could end the manipulation if they worked together. Some day they might clue in to this.

One thing's for sure, as long as they all keep the PM's fingers warm, covered and supported, nothing much is going to change.

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Absent?

2010-03-05T20:21:00.000-08:00

Some reasons for my two week hiatus:

Flu - Feeling Lousy Unrelentingly. Whatever I have, H1N1 or H5N1 or HEINY or Dopey or Grumpy, this is one mean bug that settles in the bronchi and just sits in there and tickles you to death.

OLYMPICS - We've already been through this one. The last week was very exciting especially for us Canadians so it was difficult not to get stuck all day in front of the tube.There isn't a lot more to say but I have a comment or two.

Where do Speed skaters go for their street clothes?Those glutes and vasti extremi won't slide into your ordinary Levi 501's without some lubrication or outsizing.
These could have been called the "Beautiful Olympics." if you're extremely shallow. There were seriously high numbers of very attractive people participating, with the possible exception of Kevin Martin. Some of those bobsledders (the guys) were as homely as pickle barrels too but all in all Beauties outscored Beasts.
We should have had another week of competition so that "Win the Podium" could have succeeded completely. New competitions might include "Archathalon," a combination of archery and cross-country skiing. "Remote juggling" could be judged on YouTube with varying degrees of difficulty as the number and volatility of the remotes increases. Snow-finding would be a useful competition and probably very lucrative.
WTG Canada!!!!!!!!!!!!

Solution for Mini-cryptic Puzzle #4

Across:
1. ogees (SEE, GO reversal)
5. Etna (NEAT anagram)
6. test (two meanings)
7. dairy (RAID anagram+Y)

Down:
2. Grantor (GRANT+OR)
3. emboss (EM+BOSS)
4. strata (A START anagram)

Movie: STARGATE

Why Are You So Unsporting?

2010-02-18T04:45:00.000-08:00

OLYMPICS

Our Leading Youth Masterfully Participating In Competitive Sports

Stephen Colbert who? When we need some patronizing right-wing anti-social diatribe delivered by a pudgy, nerdy, stone-faced, unfunny neo-con, we'll call on our Prime Minister, thank you very much. In the meantime, as Spiro Agnew used to say, "Love it or leave it." Aw, is he gone already? Pity.

Some people are upset with the scores of the woman's football, sorry, I mean hockey scores. There's even talk about voting the event out of the Winter Olympics because of lack of competition. It would be a travesty if woman's hockey were removed from the games just as it is a travesty that woman's ski jump is not part of the Games.

Maybe Team I.O.C. should vote out some other activities first. How about the TEAM IOC GORGING events? Eat and drink to excess at will. TEAM IOC EXCESSIVE WORLD TRAVEL TO INSPECT VENUES events.could be cut back maybe. TEAM IOC is the only team allowed to participate in these sports and there seems to be no age limit.

Here's a hot, hitherto undiscovered fact, a real news flash! The bobsled/luge/skeleton track is dangerous! Getting into a cage with a 900lb gorilla is dangerous. Formula 1 racing is dangerous. Base-jumping is dangerous. Here's a venue that has as one of it's event names, the part that's left of your body if you make it down successfully. Of course it's dangerous. The Downhill course is dangerous too. No one should have to lose their lives for their sport but these are inherently dangerous and the athletes know it. No one is to blame.

Two one-hundredths of a second is not a particularly long time. Driving (or skating) at 100km/h you would move about 55cm or 22in. That was the distance between our own winner Christine Nesbitt and Dutch skater Gerritson. That's not very much but a better margin by which to win than to lose.

So the British Press is unhappy with Vanoc and the Games. That's not very sporting now is it chaps? After all 2012 is not far away and what comes around goes around. In a country where one can hardly swing a Yorkshire terrier there may a slight hitch here and there to which the world's attention may have to be drawn. The Queen may still be our Head of State but we can change, if we have to. President Harper sounds no worse than Prime Minister Harper.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer

Why Are You So Half-Baked?

2010-02-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Bread - The Staff of Life

(Bake Responsibly Employing All the Dough.)

Have you seen Food Inc.? I'm not really sure if you should see it on an empty or full stomach, but you should see it. It is a mind-opening, albeit discouraging, documentary.

At least some food producers are making attempts to raise and distribute organic, ethical and humane crops and meats. It made me wonder where yeast fits into the fabric of life. Is it a plant or animal? Should vegans avoid yeast and yeast products?

Yeasts are fungi as it turns out. Saccharomyces_cerevisiae is the name of the fungus responsible for beer, wine, cheese, yogurt, vinegar, sauerkraut, sourdough doughnuts; and of course, bread. The taming of the yeast was probably more important to kitchen civilization than "The Taming of the Shrew," but there's really no need to go there right now. The picture above shows Cinnamon Pecan Sticky Buns, a calorie-enriched distant relative of what is often called "The Staff of Life."

Bread is a staple without which one's life can be miserable at worst and mundane at best. Not only is it a staple around the world, but variations have become delicacies. Bread has "terroire" as wine and cheeses do and the yeast mixed with the huge numbers of grain flour varieties, gives us an abundance of bread types, ranging from dark, dense German "Rogenbrot" to delicate, airy croissants. Vive la patisserie Francaise!

If you don't have a bread machine or food processor, get one! We'll wait. It's worth it. Besides, we're going to make a braided egg bread, or Challah and we'll be counting on the machinery to do the initial mixing and kneading. This recipe makes a 24 oz loaf that will be gone before you can even begin to think about what fabulous French Toast this would make in the morning. So here are the instructions with a few pictures for reference.

Ingredients (in the order recommended
by your machine)
3/4 cup water
1/4 cup butter
2 eggs
1 yolk (save the white for an egg wash)
2 tbsp sugar
1-1/2 tsp salt
3 cups white bread flour
2-1/4 tsp active dry yeast
poppy seed or sesame seed
Egg wash - white + 1 tbsp water
Whisk vigorously.

Set machine on "Dough" cycle

After finishing in machine, remove dough and punch down.

Divide dough into 3 equal portions and roll into 15"-18" strands.

Pinch the ends of the strands firmly together and braid the strands.

Pinch the other ends together.

Place on a lightly greased sheet in a warm place.

Cover and allow to rise, doubling in size.

Brush with the egg wash and sprinkle with poppy seed or sesame seed.

Bake at 375F for 20-25 minutes.

Bet you can't wait until it cools before trying some!

The following was awarded 3rd prize in the Leacock Festival Limerick Contest a few years ago.

Said a bread baker's wife in Schenectady,
There's a dozen now have the vasectomy.
But with thoughts of a knife
Near his own staff of life,
He insisted his tubes should connected be.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer

Why Are You So Puzzled? (4)

2010-02-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

PUZZLE #3 ANSWERS:

Across: 1. Swipe 5. Tune 6. Bali, 7. Strep
Down: 2. Warsaw 3. Patriot 4. insane
Sign: WET PAINT

Why Are You So Challenged?

2010-02-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

It's Saturday February 13, 2010. Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow and Happy Family Day on Monday. Today's the day the secret of THE CHALLENGER is revealed. You'll find it on P7, in the puzzles and comics section of the Saturday Star. Get over it! Go buy one.

For reference let's number the rows 1 to 6 from bottom to top and the columns will be 1 to 5 from left to right.

The fist thing to look for is a row or column with a low total. Look at column 3. Subtract the given number,6 , from the total of 12 for the column and we have 6 left to make up in that column. This can be made up with a 4 and 2-ones. But where to place them? Consider row 4. If the 4 is placed in the third square , the ones go above and below it.

The current total then for row 4 is 7. Subtract this from 25, leaving 18. This must be made up with 2-nines.

Looking for similar relationships, check column 4. 16-9-2=5 which is made up with a 4 and 1-one. Place the 4 in row 3. The remaining square in row 3 must be 9. The rest of the puzzle is duck soup, as the Marx brothers would say.

Let me know whether or not this makes any sense at all.

Why Are You So Caught Up?

2010-02-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

CAUGHT - Can't Actually Understand the Gravity of His Trysts

Tiger Woods - CAUGHT.

Lord Black of Cross Harbour - CAUGHT

Bernie Madoff - CAUGHT

John Edwards - CAUGHT

Adam Giambrone - CAUGHT

Eliot Spitzer - CAUGHT

30 Would-be Winter Olympians - CAUGHT

Bill Clinton - CAUGHT

Two Pound Smallmouth Bass - CAUGHT (and released)

Why Are You So Longing for Summer?

2010-02-10T14:36:00.001-08:00

"Oh the Summer sky!"

"It's OK Granddad. We can catch him again." (Photo by Matthew Nitsch)

Not to mention........

Copyright 2010 by Stargeazer

It won't be long now!

Why Are You So Poetic?

2010-02-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

When we bought our house in 1969, beginning 4 decades of fixing and renovating, there was a modest two-holer outhouse, "out back." It was insulated with white-washed, corrugated cardboard nailed to the inside of the clapboard. That insulation wasn't very effective on bitter cold January nights. It was on one of these nights that a former owner, Harry Crossen, died. According to Donald Beamish, a neighbour and rescuer, Harry's body had fallen against the outhouse door, which swung in. This made retrieving Harry awkward and time-consuming. The side of Harry's face was solidly frozen to the door, Donald recounted, and required prying with a spade to loosen it. Donald also noted that Harry looked quite himself when he was laid out in the parlour for his wake.

When time came to remove the outhouse, we first removed the cardboard. Behind one piece we found a few scraps of Eaton's Catalogue which had not found their way into the pit. They had some pencil scrawling on them which has only recently been deciphered.. Before you think this might be a ghost story, I assure you the writings had nothing to do with the circumstances of Harry's death and although the voice comes from beyond the grave it is not a malevolent one.

The first piece consists of only the last five lines of what was obviously a searing love poem. I call it,

"Love Poem, Unbegun."
............
They're luscious just to gaze upon,
And now Dear Sarah that is it,
My thoughts have wandered quite a bit,
It's just as well you're not here now,
I have to go---------- and, milk the cow.

The next poem we call,

"Why I lie here as I do."

The ox what gored me must have thought
that in his yard I shouldn't ought
to have been running so unclad
to rescue from our little lad
the cat which he had strung aloft
above the empty old hay-loft.

He hadn't tied the line 'round Kit
but stuffed her right in old basket
and rope up over beam he threw
as Kit to greater heights he drew
and I was witness to the deed
from window which the barn o'ersee'd.

So wanting not to waste a step
the barnyard fence I deftly leapt
forgetting that the yard was home
to ugly ox we called Jerome.

I never saw his startled face
so caught up was I in the race
to reach the lad and make him stop
before the basket reached the top.

When tough old horn met weak old flank
perhaps he thought I should him thank
for helping me move swiftly on
to heights and speeds I'd never gone
but thoughts like that just never came
while yelling curse in ox's name.

It's mostly turned out quite alright
our Kit was rescued from her fright.
The lad's been punished as is fit
(Manure from oxen smells a bit)
and while I lie here as I do
Jerome is down there lying too.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer

Why Are You So Puzzled (3)

2010-02-07T18:26:00.000-08:00

MINI-CROSS PUZZLE #3

ANSWERS for PUZZLE #2
Across: 3. miasma, 5. antonym, 7. bottom
Down: 1. riot, 2. Tammy, 4. barbs, 6. neon Place: Manitoba

Many of you may be familiar with a number puzzle, The Challenger. It is syndicated across the continent including in the Toronto Saturday Star. It is credited to Linus Maurer, an artist and cartoonist who was also a friend of Charles Schulz. Mr. Maurer's puzzle consists of a 4x4 square grid in which 4 numbers from 1 to 9 are placed so that there is only one given number in any of the four rows or four columns. Along the bottom and right side of the grid are given numbers which represent the totals of all the digits in each row, column and diagonal. The object is to enter digits from 1-9 into the blank spaces in the rows and columns so that the totals are all met. I hesitate to show an example here because this puzzle is copyrighted and I don't wish to infringe on that. I think my description is accurate.

What irks me about this puzzle is that a "Working Time" is given in minutes and seconds to guide a player, presumably into comparing oneself with the rest of the puzzling population. How does he know how long it should take anyone let alone give that time to the second? It seems disingenuous to even quote such a figure. I want to show you how to solve this puzzle in under a minute, every time. And I will do this in a post on this blog next Saturday February 13. I'll use the numbers for that day's puzzle in the Star for the explanation. Your time is too valuable to waste so much of it on the Challenger. Let me show you how to drastically cut that time and you can then spend more time googling other stuff.

Why Are You So Cold?

2010-02-06T03:54:00.000-08:00

Why Are You So Sorry?

2010-02-04T14:25:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry. There was an error in the recipe for Egg Benedict posted on Groundhog day. The price of saffron spiked to $US700/gram. That was supposed to be the unit, gram, not kilogram. Pricey stuff but it was worth it wasn't it?

Speaking of apologies, we are all owed big ones from whoever coined the phrases "Going forward" and "Drill down." GF is almost always used by someone who is not the least bit interested in G'ing F. They want us to think they're G'ingF when they're really quite happy to ride the status quo train and typically display a fondness for the "Good Ole Days." "Drill down," must have been coined by a dentist. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean but it sounds like I'm soon about to experience some kind of pain. These phrases are no better than "Like, you know." They are the mean-nothing fillers that are the "Hamburger Helper" of English. They are the bread crumbs in the meatloaf of this rich and noble language. These may also be the same people who use the phrase "As far as," incompletely. You may hear them say "As far as the weather, it's raining," or "As far as my salary, I'm not making enough. They say one is getting old and curmudgeonly when he starts to complain about language and usage. Have they read the title of this blog? As far as my complaints I will go forward to drill down to get to the bottom of all these errors.

Toyota's sorry. This is a big one and it hits home. Hundreds of employees in Canada may be affected even further by this. Imagine the scale of this bailout.Toyota can't be allowed to go under but who's going to buy one when/if production starts again? Somehow it's hard to shake the image of incompetent executives getting more megabonuses with bailout bucks. Maybe that's what the mint should start printing, bailout bucks. We would know they're worthless but we would all let on they're not. What's going on in GM corporate HQ? Are those popping champagne corks?

Stephen Harper is sorry. He's sorry he underestimated how many dictionaries there were in the country and how many people could use them. The Liberals are actually 0.9% ahead of the Conservatives. Now that's a lead that could be overcome by the margin of error like a Boxing Day tsunami on a Bali beach but it gives the Liberals momentum in the upward direction. Pro-prorogationists are dismissing protests on the basis that the PM's actions were all "legal." We all know that sometimes "the law is an ass."Consider these; the Senate is a legally instituted body which many protest and strive to change. Slavery was once legal. Women were legally non-persons. The list is long. Many see prorogation as an abuse of power and they strive to change that situation. That change begins with protest.

I'm sorry there isn't more snow this year for snowshoeing. There's an activity that is richly rewarding and ironically its greatest reward comes from looking back not forward. There is beauty in the stitch work the shoes make on the snow blanket. The path is there, every step, and every slight and not-so-slight deviation from that path. You see it in the solidity of the snow and the ice that supports it. There it is, for a time.

Why Are You So Obsessed?

2010-02-03T17:15:00.000-08:00

I love fishing and I have come to really love fly fishing or flyfishing. I'm not sure which form is exactly correct but my Word2003 dictionary says the latter is not correct. I'll leave it. A few years ago my wife and I and another couple spent a week at the Lazy M Ranch, owned and operated by Maggie and Lane Moore, near Caroline Alberta. Part of the week was spent at their camp in the foothills, beside Cutoff Creek, a famous brown trout creek. The creek was fed by snow melt from the mountains and it cut through a clay plain to form a crystal-clear, ice cold winding conduit of the purest water imaginable. Besides brownies, there was, as we now know, a tiny population of bull trout protected by all the laws and regulations the Province of Alberta had time to pass before we got there. All fishers should know the regulations.

Bill was cook and caretaker for Moore’s at the Cutoff Creek camp. He baked great apple pies. Bill wasn’t really a fishing guide but he did show us where the fish were at and he was sure it was a brown trout I had caught. You couldn’t argue with Bill. He was too gentle.

Ranger Dave was a bona fide Alberta forest ranger and newly-vested game warden. He had been in the mountains with his two mules for the previous two weeks and just happened to come out when I had caught THE fish.Here's the story in cowboy poetry form.

At Cutoff Creek they tell the tale

About an Eastern dude

Who thought that he would fish a spell

To supplement his food.

This dude had read a lot of books

And filled himself with learning

And catching trout in this-here creek

Became his greatest yearning.

So up he went with rod and vest

And flies and creel and hat

And Bill from Moore’s said he would show

Him where the fish were at.

The creek ran cool and deep and clear

And flies were hatching strong

The mountain sunshine sparkled bright

And nothing could go wrong

Before too long the trout came out

And took to eating flies,

The dude tied on an olive dun

And cast into their lies.

Then suddenly right at the bank

A trout took up the bait,

The dude just barely set the hook

Before it was too late

He fought it ‘til it fought no more

And then he hauled it in

When Bill said “That’s a brown trout, son

As nice as one there’s bin.”

As quick as luck comes it’ll go

And spoil the greatest thrill,

Like when the mules and Ranger Dave

Arrived from up the hill.

He eyed the dude, he spied the fish,

The air was thick and still,

And then the ranger, somewhat vexed

Said, “That’s a bull trout Bill.”

So now the Eastern dude has learned

To fish with hand-tied flies

And each day Bill goes to the jail

To bring him apple pies.

Why Are You So Discerning?

2010-02-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

Your taste buds are alive again! Who doesn't like Eggs Benedict? Well, just sit down in the corner over there until this is over. Here's a great new recipe from the latest issue of Gastronomica Pompuoso. I'm just dying to try it but I'll need a little time to gather the requisite supplies. It certainly seems scrumptious in the reading so I'd like to share it with you now even before it's kitchen tested.

EGG BENEDICT

Makes 1. For other quantities, multiply the following by the number required.

1 large Himalyan Ptarmigan egg
Top 1/2 of an English muffin*
3/16" thick slice of Canadian Back Bacon
Yak butter
Golden Parsley
7,5 kg of Saffron from only purple crocus
1 Package Knorr Hollaindaise Sauce mix

Poach the egg, being very careful not to solidify any of the yolk. If any of it does, keep poaching eggs until you get it right. Be sure that none of the white remains runny and if it does, go back to Sentence two.

Toast the top half of the English muffin* over a bed of hardwood charcoal from which no flame should be allowed to rise. The English muffin* should be evenly browned to a colour matching Benjamin Moore Historic Colour HC115 Chichester Tan. You know what to do if it isn’t. Unsalted yak butter is preferred but you may use salted.

In a lightly greased French cast iron chasseur warm the slice of bacon to a temperature in the range of 147.2°F and 52.3°C. Maintain temperature until other ingredients are ready.

Make sauce.

On a fine bone china plate, Wedgewood or Hammersly or Royal Doulton would do, place, adhering strictly to the given order

1. The top half of the buttered English muffin.*

2. The warmed slice of back bacon.

3. The PPPE**

4. Hollandaise Sauce .

5. Saffron (Use liberally. The price is at an all-time low.)

6. Parsley

Bon Appetit!

*An English muffin is not really a muffin. Don’t be fooled into accepting a "Fruit Explosion."

**Perfectly Poached Ptarmigan Egg

Why Are You So Puzzled (2)

2010-02-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

A minicross puzzle is solved like any crossword puzzle, with an added feature. When all the words have been entered according to the clues provided, the circled letters that are common to crossing words can be unscrambled to form another word or phrase. The final answer to the puzzle may be a song, book or movie title, a famous name, a place, a common phrase, word or well-known saying. The puzzle is not interactive but it's a .jpg so you can just print it. Have fun!

Answers for Puzzle #1:
Across: 3. Ionic; 6. Needled; 7. Olive
Down: 1. Tinny; 2. Acclaim; 4. Neeson; 5. Adder
Famous Name: Celine Dion

These "ice floats," (my term) are definitely puzzling. They are about six inches in diameter on average. These were just downstream of a dam. Weather was clear and sunny with a temperature of about -5 deg. C. There were no little green men around either. They looked like white doughnuts floating in a huge fryer. Does anyone know what they're called or how they're formed? There were some as wide as two feet in another part of the river

Why Are You So Unobservant?

2010-01-30T06:09:00.000-08:00

"Notice anything different?"
That phrase strikes terror in the hearts of most men. Where? What? Who? This is our house, right? My chair is still here, stains and all. I love that chair. TV is still hanging there. That was a snap putting that sucker up there, all 84 inches of her. Good thing I had those 8" lag bolts. I love that TV. Fridge is running. It took a long time to find that fridge. No drawers in it. Three full bottle-height shelves. I love that fridge!
"Aw come on. This is a stupid game. I don't notice anything new or different. Just tell me."
"No. Just one guess."
"OK. You finally got rid of the Velvet Elvis?"
"That's been gone for years! Try again."
"You said one guess."
"Just one more."
"You cleaned out the dryer lint filter."
"Nooooo! "
"I repainted the house."
"Oh yah. Any beer? Game's on."

Only one other question is more terrifying. "Notice anything different about ME?" You really should try to find out what brought this on. How unobservant and inattentive have you been that she would come out with that? There's almost no defense. You could try, "You've lost weight." But if she hasn't she'll hurt you with, "So you think I need to lose weight?" About the only thing left for you is, "Do you suppose the indigestion and pain in my chest has anything to do with my sore left arm?" That will give you the whole length of the ambulance ride to try to figure out what to say.

Why Are You So Spaced-Out?

2010-01-29T02:30:00.000-08:00

It flew right here above us boy,
Maybe a rocket or a toy,
And it was Screechin' 'cross the sky,
Or was that Screechin' really I?

The rumour mill is grindin' grist
The PMO is really pissed
That news of Senators today
Seems to have just been whisked away.

And cries of UFO are heard
But that command is getting blurred
Now things are nasty on the Hill
As if the House was sitting, still.

The speculation will go on
What was that blasted thing at dawn?
Could the PM and PC be mad
And jointly launched their new iSad?

Copyright 2010 by Stargeazer

Why Are You So Cynical?

2010-01-28T08:05:00.000-08:00

There seems to have been some contradictory evidence about the identity of the birds posted in a photo on Jan. 23, 2010. They were identified as Bohemian waxwings and it was suggested by some that they were actually Cedar waxwings. According to Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology Bohemian waxwings have rufous undertails. You can't argue with the rufous undertail
Observe the photo at right. One thing I know for sure. They were all females. They all went to the bathroom together.

So, Apple has unveiled the iPad. Are Apple users thinking, "i'll Pay Again, Dearly?" That reminds me of a little game you may like to. try. Take an ordinary word, noun or verb or whatever and imagine it is an acronym. Try to think of words that could make up that acronym and also give a sense of the meaning or of a feature of the word . Here's another example. Someone working with a BUDGET might be, Buying Under Duress (and) Great Economic Threat. Articles and prepositions may or may not be used in the acronym as you wish. Here's one for VACATION. Varied And Costly Activity, Travelling In Other Nations. Or you may have a COMPUTER like this. Can't Operate Mine Properly Unless Toggling Extra Reboots. Give it a try and post your best effort.

Why Are You So Confused?

2010-01-27T02:49:00.000-08:00

Allow me to clear up a few things for you.

It's not very complicated and doesn't take a lot of your time. If you haven't donated to Haiti relief yet go to the nearest mirror and see if you can stand to look at yourself.

Remember when English grammar was taught in school and parts of speech were important? Prorogue is a verb or an action word that Archie Bunker may have used in the context of, "Prorogue yourself Edith." Pro is an adjective and is an abbreviation of professional, meaning highly skilled. Rogue is a noun and means a mischievous person. A Pro Rogue is a Prime Minister. More grammar lessons to come.

If you're going to "Pie" someone you should at least have the decency to use an appropriate flavour. This means that tofu should never be used, ever, for anything except "safe" hockey pucks. (I would still have all my teeth if we'd had tofu hockey pucks when I was a kid.) Shouldn't PETA have opted for a suitable flavour for a Minister of the Crown in charge of the seal hunt? Something like seal flipper pie would have made the point much more strongly and would have been less offensive.

Speaking of hockey, you know you don't have to like it to be Canadian, eh? There are no hockey questions on the Citizenship test.

Quitting smoking may be the hardest thing you will ever do but it will be the most rewarding for yourself and all those friends and family around you. Whatever you may be going through right now remember that you only want to go through it once. Don't quit more than once.

Why Are You So Stand-offish?

2010-01-25T20:28:00.000-08:00

We're
supposed

to
mate

for
life.

It could

be a

short marriage.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer

WhyAre You So Puzzled?

2010-01-25T18:35:00.000-08:00

Anyone who is trying to quit smoking knows that any activities which break the regular routine are beneficial to the quitter. Try a "Minicross" puzzle which is solved like any crossword puzzle, with an added feature. When all the words have been entered according to the clues provided, the circled letters that are common to crossing words can be unscrambled to form another word or phrase. The final answer to the puzzle may be a song, book or movie title, a famous name, a place, a common phrase, word or well-known saying. From time to time there will be a mini-cryptic for those who are so inclined. Have fun! Answers will be given next Monday Feb. 4, 2010.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer.

Why are you so transient?

2010-01-23T06:28:00.000-08:00

It's too bad these Bohemian waxwings don't stay around longer. A flock of about 50 visited one day and stripped the flowering crab they invaded.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer

Why are you so miserable?

2010-01-22T16:24:00.000-08:00

You're getting paid. I'm standing here, fourth in the Express (1-8 Items) line and I'm worrying about whether I have 7 items or 13.What do you have to worry about? I'm definitely not getting paid for this. At least you're getting minimum wage. You could smile. That wouldn't cut into your wages. Looks like that customer you're serving now didn't expect to have to pay. Can't find her wallet. She should have got it out when she was 4th in line. There it is. Can she count fast? I'm 3rd in line now. You see, I have 2 kinds of apples and 2 of each kind, a loaf of bread, 3 cobs of corn, 2 tomatoes, a lettuce, a can of cat food and a package of frozen peas. How many items do I have? You look worse than before. Just miserable. Anything wrong? Price check in the Express (1-8 items) line. Couldn't he have grabbed a melon with a sticker on it? You're just standing there waiting for the produce guy to get one. Is that an annoyed look on your face? Or are you ill? Second place now. Actually I've never seen anyone removed from the Express(1-8 items) line but all those people behind are giving me such dirty looks. You could smile. $4.77? Could you use some change? Those are mostly pennies in that zip-lock! Do they still teach arithmetic? You should really smile. It's my turn! "Hi Dad." Big smile. "Hi sweetie. How's it going?"

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer