Why Are You So Mistaken??

CAUGHT IN PASSING somewhere near Ottawa



Heard in passing, "You must have misheard my misspeech when I misspoke. See I wasn't influence peddling. I was pedalling Influence!"

Why not be Amazed!

King Alfred Daffodils

"It's the most wonderful time of the year," was really written for the wrong season. It really should be a Spring song (of which they are depressingly few) rather than a Christmas song of which there really are plenty. Besides, Spring celebrates that other magical season, Easter. Spring brings with her all the hope that's been pent up for the winter. Everyone who has planted a bulb or bush last Fall has been waiting for this.



Parrot Tulip

Bloodroot


















Pulmonaria















Wood Anemone





















Hybrid Narcissus































Copyright 2010 by the Stargeazer












Helleborus

Why Are You So Skeptical?

Gardening Time has Begun









GARDEN - Get At Raking Dirt Evenly Now.

It is that time again and it has come so early. Even with that you just can't predict what you're going to see in the garden this time of year. Whether you're checking out the pansies, the daffodils or the blood-root you never know what you might see.

Even the flower buds on the fruit trees are breaking open and that might spell disaster for the fruit crop. If we get a hard frost it will kill the flower buds and that means no fruit. And no fruit means no fruits of our labours. All the maintenance of the fruit trees will be just that, maintenance.

Sour cherries come on quickly and need to be pitted before being frozen.

We really enjoy making our own apple sauce and cider or freezing apple slices from the Lodi apple in August for those late Fall apple pies. Pears are tricky to pick at just the right ripeness but keen observation and perseverance reward the grower.

So, it's hard not to be skeptical when such odd things are going on all around. I don't believe we will get a fruit crop this year no matter how much we wish it. This year may be an anomaly but this may also be another situation influenced by Global Warming.

But it's hard not to be skeptical about so many things going on today.

But, I am not skeptical about a Conservative cabinet minister going rangy over a simple security check. I am not skeptical about her husband, a former MP trying to peddle his influence, such as it may be, to friends and associates from his wife's Parliament Hill office.. No skepticism here about that.

You may be skeptical about the garden gnomes you see here. I may be brought to wondering what was in my pre-dinner Scotch and skeptical about the reputed origins of the liquid but I am not at all skeptical about the shame and disrepute these people bring to an institution which, for the most part is made of honest , hard-working and well-meaning people.

Why Are You So Fashion Concious?

I have two jackets, windbreakers actually, that I love. They are made of microfibre which means they could have been made to imitate any material, natural or synthetic, known to humankind. These happen to be like the finest kid leather ever known to dress a baby goat. And I used to raise goats and delivered many kids so I know whereof I speak. These jackets are so luxurious, but inexpensive. I love these jackets but, sadly, they are destined for the "Diabetes Society" clothing bin. They are comfortable, soft, well-fitted, tailored and attractive but they have to go! I've tried for months to get used to them but it just won't happen.

I can not tolerate the DOUBLE POCKETS! Who is the fashionista who dreamed up these insidious, vexing and infuriating adds-on to what would otherwise be highly desirable articles of clothing? One of these pockets is zippered and the other is not. Any article for which one reaches is in the zippered pouch of the damnable duo. If it is not in the zippered pouch then the zipper must be open and the back of the hand that has reached in scrapes rudely across the tiny, sharp teeth. Whatever I need or want from these pockets is never in the one I reach first. What is the use of these? They are frustrating and aggravating, so, as much as I do love them, they've got to go.

I'm just too P'd O. I'm too P'd O. That is correct. Think about it. What does P.O.'d mean? Nothing. P'd O would be correct. Take mother-in-law, governor-general and court-martial. There would be two mothers-in-law, governors-general or courts-martial. If your mother-in-law owns a car it's your mother-in-law's car. It's the governor-general's house and the court-martial's venue. Nobody knows how to use apostrophes these days. They are used for possessive cases, some plural possessives and contractions. That is the lady's car. Those are the ladies' cars. Don't take any wooden nickles. There is no apostrophe in a simple plural case.

Remember when Timmy used to say to his Mom, "Porky and me are going over to the old well and we'll try not to fall in?" Mom always corrected him and said, "Porky and "I" are going to the old well and it's O.K. if you fall in because Lassie will come and get Gramps and me to rescue you." Mom used "me" correctly, in the objective case.

Why Are You So Shocked?

Shocked - Should Hydro Ontario Covertly Kindle Electrical Demand ?

How shocking is it really that Hydro rates are going up? It's hardly even news it happens with such certainty and regularity. All the experts keep telling us that we have to pay what it costs. So, now along with debt servicing charges (all electrical puns intended) from the old Ontario Hydro and delivery charges (Canada Post would be cheaper) and line losses we now will have to fork up "Time of Use" charges, HST and a Green Energy incentive, surcharge or whatever.

Are you smarter than a "Smart Meter?" Can you outwit that whirligig bolted to the outside wall? You might have a better chance if it stopped flashing so fast. It's like a VLT, the numbers keep flashing in a bewildering blur but there's never a payout. So this new meter will help us plan our Hydro consumption and make us aware of off-peak bonanzas that await us. By the way weekends are all off peak so we can start by doing all our cooking for the week on Saturday and Sunday. That should all go in the freezer but if you time it right things won't start to go bad until next weekend. Should do the laundry then too I suppose. Wow those dishes really pile up over the week, we should do those. That birdhouse project your daughter was supposed to take to school last week could be done now too. The time lock is off the power saw. Is it Monday morning already? Time to throw the big switch on the panel again.

No. You can't outsmart the Smart Meter. Shocked? Everything About Hydro is Shocking.

Copyright 2010 by the Stargeazer

Why Are You So Puzzled? (7)

Answers for Puzzle #6

Across:

3. Grotto

5. Lockers

7. Arthur

Down:

1. Eric

2. Horse

4. Gleam

6. Emus

Movie: CAROUSEL

IT"S TOUGH TO BE A LIBERAL THESE DAYS

(To the tune of It's Tough to be a Liberal These Days by M. Nitsch 2004.)

It's tough to be a Liberal these days,
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But it turned out to be just a dream.

If I were a Liberal here's what I would do
I'd take off my hands one-by-one
'Cause if I couldn't vote for the left or the right
Then I can't be blamed for who won.

Then I'd take those hands to a rally I'd host
And I'd find out where both speakers stand
I'd get in between so it's easy for me
To give Stephen and Mike both a hand.

And it's tough to be a Liberal these days
The Whip doesn't care where you're at,
You try to be a good MP so
You go to him with hand in hat.

It's tough to be a Liberal these days
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But you woke up and found it a dream.

But just try to imagine how tough it is to be Conservative right now!

Why Are You So Flightly?

Living in the country puts one through a particular experience city-dwellers don't usually have to face. This is the scourge know as CLUSTER FLIES. As the name implies, when conditions are right  the sun heats windows, doors, frames and trim on the warm days of False Spring and Indian Summer,  Hundreds of flies emerge from wherever they happen to have been hiding  and buzz around  on windows in huge clusters.  During the day when they emerge their metabolism seems to accelerate so much that most are dead before afternoon tea.Then there's the problem of cleaning up all those dead and many not-so-dead  flies. Usually the vacuum cleaner does a good job of that.


For the first time, a few years ago, we had virtually no cluster flies for at least two seasons in a row.  Instead we had hundreds of Ladybugs or as they are more properly called, ladybird beetles. But it seems that these benign and even friendly looking beetles are an imported species run amok on this continent after some well-meaning entomologist set them loose on some unsuspecting prey.  Apparently it is possible to tell the foreign species  from the domestic by the number of spots on its back. I have seen beetles with 0, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 or more spots and I don't have the foggiest notion which might be the domestic variety. There was one that seemed to respond to "bonjour" but that could have been domestic or continental. It is apparent though, that when the beetles are around the flies are not or at least the flies appear in much, much smaller numbers. It seems that the beetles do the job for which they were imported, to eat the eggs and larvae of the pests. Purists would say that all the foreign beetles should be rounded up and deported  but they should be welcomed and encouraged with  a hearty "bon appetite!" Anything that helps control those cluster flies is welcome in my country.


Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer