Why Are You So Puzzled? (7)

Answers for Puzzle #6

Across:

3. Grotto

5. Lockers

7. Arthur

Down:

1. Eric

2. Horse

4. Gleam

6. Emus

Movie: CAROUSEL

IT"S TOUGH TO BE A LIBERAL THESE DAYS

(To the tune of It's Tough to be a Liberal These Days by M. Nitsch 2004.)

It's tough to be a Liberal these days,
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But it turned out to be just a dream.

If I were a Liberal here's what I would do
I'd take off my hands one-by-one
'Cause if I couldn't vote for the left or the right
Then I can't be blamed for who won.

Then I'd take those hands to a rally I'd host
And I'd find out where both speakers stand
I'd get in between so it's easy for me
To give Stephen and Mike both a hand.

And it's tough to be a Liberal these days
The Whip doesn't care where you're at,
You try to be a good MP so
You go to him with hand in hat.

It's tough to be a Liberal these days
Tougher than swimmin' upstream,
You thought today you might get to vote
But you woke up and found it a dream.

But just try to imagine how tough it is to be Conservative right now!

Why Are You So Flightly?

Living in the country puts one through a particular experience city-dwellers don't usually have to face. This is the scourge know as CLUSTER FLIES. As the name implies, when conditions are right  the sun heats windows, doors, frames and trim on the warm days of False Spring and Indian Summer,  Hundreds of flies emerge from wherever they happen to have been hiding  and buzz around  on windows in huge clusters.  During the day when they emerge their metabolism seems to accelerate so much that most are dead before afternoon tea.Then there's the problem of cleaning up all those dead and many not-so-dead  flies. Usually the vacuum cleaner does a good job of that.


For the first time, a few years ago, we had virtually no cluster flies for at least two seasons in a row.  Instead we had hundreds of Ladybugs or as they are more properly called, ladybird beetles. But it seems that these benign and even friendly looking beetles are an imported species run amok on this continent after some well-meaning entomologist set them loose on some unsuspecting prey.  Apparently it is possible to tell the foreign species  from the domestic by the number of spots on its back. I have seen beetles with 0, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 or more spots and I don't have the foggiest notion which might be the domestic variety. There was one that seemed to respond to "bonjour" but that could have been domestic or continental. It is apparent though, that when the beetles are around the flies are not or at least the flies appear in much, much smaller numbers. It seems that the beetles do the job for which they were imported, to eat the eggs and larvae of the pests. Purists would say that all the foreign beetles should be rounded up and deported  but they should be welcomed and encouraged with  a hearty "bon appetite!" Anything that helps control those cluster flies is welcome in my country.


Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Touchy?

ANN COULTER: 

A Nother Neo-Con Ostensibly Uses Logic To Expound "Righteousness"

There isn't much more to say about Ann Coulter except to wish that her charisma and obvious literary and oratory skills could be used to really help people instead of just helping her to become a latter-day William F. Buckley Jr. in a miniskirt. 

Crocodiles have been around since the time of the dinosaurs and in fact are direct descendants of them. Since they are so tough-mouthed it's almost impossible to have a reasoned debate with one especially when it's hungry for attention and smells blood. They might usually look a bit slow and lumbering but watch that National Geographic special again, the one about the wildebeest  migration and the rest stop at the ole watering hole. You just can't trust anything or anyone with that many white teeth. What else is there to say?

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Disappointed?

False Spring

"April is the cruelest month," T.S. Eliot wrote in his 1922 poem, The Wasteland. Eliot did not know about global warming so it is only possible to speculate what he may have thought of, "March is the cruelest month." Whatever the month surely its cruelty is in what it seems to promise, a warm sunny Spring  but then rips away just as we begin to savour it. 

The snowdrops are  just about open at the base of the red maple. The silver maples have that reddish haze over their crowns. 
Crocus and daffodils near the south end of thee house reach for the warmth that is both collected and reflected by the stones of the foundation. Robins are finding worms slowly creeping out of their thawing tunnels.Boots and parka have been moved to the hall closet and have been replaced with leather shoes on the mat and a windbreaker on the coat rack by the door. The windshield scraper is in the trunk along with the empty container of windshield washer fluid. All these and temperatures in the mid-to-high teens are sure and certain signs of spring that have been with us for at least four or five days now. And the snow is virtually gone! The thermostat has even been turned back a few degrees.


Then  you wake and feel chilled. It's dark still since Daylight Savings Time just started a few days ago. But looking at the window blind there seems to be more light  coming in around the edges than there should be. If you don't look it could be that the 10 centimeters of snow aren't really there. You don't need more than slippers and a windbreaker to go out to get the scraper and washer fluid. That snow is really cold on the feet as you try to get to the car so it can warm up a bit.  The robins are at the bird feeder making do with sunflower seeds and millet. All the would-bloom flowers are covered in that white blanket.


It was just one of Nature's cruelties, False Spring, those five days of hope. It doesn't matter what month it strikes, March or April. At least each False Spring brings us that much closer to the real thing 

Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer

Why Are You So Loonie?

"OK you guys pay attention.  Where are we going? I Don't know. Let's vote on it. No way, we might win!

Speaking of the Conservatives,  it seems they have manipulated the media into thinking the Afghan Detainees issue is about public . disclosure of the documents. Not so. The Government is in contempt of Parliament because it refuses to hand over the documents requested by the Parliamentary Committee on Afghanistan to that Committee. There are no National Security issues in that case. No one on the Opposition side has said it wants public disclosure. The Opposition wants the Committee to see the relevant documents. It will then be up to the Committee to decide on the degree of disclosure to the public.

Frustration just continues to build as the Opposition parties try to  convince the Canadian public that they really are OPPOSED but they do not have the political courage to actually do something about it.  There must be some issue over which the Opposition would fight an election. What do you suppose it is? It';s not prorogation. It's not the Throne Speech or the ensuing Budget. Fans of "A Christmas Story" may like to see a "Triple Dog Dare"  laid at the feet of one of the Leaders. Surely they would have to act on that. You can't back down from a "Triple Dog Dare" and still hold your head up on The Hill.

LOON: Lord Of Our North
LOONIE: Lording Over Our National Interest; Exchange

What happened? When did it happen? I don't remember being away anywhere. Why didn't someone tell me?  Oh, it might have been in the middle of that unfortunately timed Alien abduction thing. My right armpit was quite sore for a time and that can redirect anyone's attention. The point is, when did THEY put an imitation of Daffy Duck on our one dollar coin? The date on the first one I received was 2008 but I first got one this month. That bird is positively deranged. Loons will flap their wings when sitting on the water. They might even splash a bit when they do so but they do not grin about it. They do not make spectacles of themselves. They are Canadian and they show decorum. What was wrong with the noble loon on our first one dollar coin, the namesake of The Loonie? This new thing does not even strike one as being finished.. It looks like it should be struck again and again and again. 

If all this bothers you as much as it does me, do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look at the portrait on the obverse side. I said NOT!!! Our monarch is Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth II, I thought. But look! I know I said not to. Why are we looking at Charlton Heston with a big hairpiece as the young Moses in the court of the Pharaoh?

Change sucks! 


Copyright 2010 The Stargeazer