Why Are You So Absent?

Some reasons for my two week hiatus:

Flu - Feeling Lousy Unrelentingly. Whatever I have, H1N1 or H5N1 or HEINY or Dopey or Grumpy, this is one mean bug that settles in the bronchi and just sits in there and tickles you to death.

OLYMPICS - We've already been through this one. The last week was very exciting especially for us Canadians so it was difficult not to get stuck all day in front of the tube.There isn't a lot more to say but I have a comment or two.

• Where do Speed skaters go for their street clothes?Those glutes and vasti extremi won't slide into your ordinary Levi 501's without some lubrication or outsizing.
• These could have been called the "Beautiful Olympics." if you're extremely shallow. There were seriously high numbers of very attractive people participating, with the possible exception of Kevin Martin. Some of those bobsledders (the guys) were as homely as pickle barrels too but all in all Beauties outscored Beasts.
  
• We should have had another week of competition so that "Win the Podium" could have succeeded completely. New competitions might include "Archathalon," a combination of archery and cross-country skiing. "Remote juggling" could be judged on YouTube with varying degrees of difficulty as the number and volatility of the remotes increases. Snow-finding would be a useful competition and probably very lucrative.
• WTG Canada!!!!!!!!!!!!

Solution for Mini-cryptic Puzzle #4

Across:
1. ogees (SEE, GO reversal)
5. Etna (NEAT anagram)
6. test (two meanings)
7. dairy (RAID anagram+Y)

Down:
2. Grantor (GRANT+OR)
3. emboss (EM+BOSS)
4. strata (A START anagram)

Movie: STARGATE

Why Are You So Unsporting?

OLYMPICS

Our Leading Youth Masterfully Participating In Competitive Sports

Stephen Colbert who? When we need some patronizing right-wing anti-social diatribe delivered by a pudgy, nerdy, stone-faced, unfunny neo-con, we'll call on our Prime Minister, thank you very much. In the meantime, as Spiro Agnew used to say, "Love it or leave it." Aw, is he gone already? Pity.

Some people are upset with the scores of the woman's football, sorry, I mean hockey scores. There's even talk about voting the event out of the Winter Olympics because of lack of competition. It would be a travesty if woman's hockey were removed from the games just as it is a travesty that woman's ski jump is not part of the Games.

Maybe Team I.O.C. should vote out some other activities first. How about the TEAM IOC GORGING events? Eat and drink to excess at will. TEAM IOC EXCESSIVE WORLD TRAVEL TO INSPECT VENUES events.could be cut back maybe. TEAM IOC is the only team allowed to participate in these sports and there seems to be no age limit.

Here's a hot, hitherto undiscovered fact, a real news flash! The bobsled/luge/skeleton track is dangerous! Getting into a cage with a 900lb gorilla is dangerous. Formula 1 racing is dangerous. Base-jumping is dangerous. Here's a venue that has as one of it's event names, the part that's left of your body if you make it down successfully. Of course it's dangerous. The Downhill course is dangerous too. No one should have to lose their lives for their sport but these are inherently dangerous and the athletes know it. No one is to blame.

Two one-hundredths of a second is not a particularly long time. Driving (or skating) at 100km/h you would move about 55cm or 22in. That was the distance between our own winner Christine Nesbitt and Dutch skater Gerritson. That's not very much but a better margin by which to win than to lose.

So the British Press is unhappy with Vanoc and the Games. That's not very sporting now is it chaps? After all 2012 is not far away and what comes around goes around. In a country where one can hardly swing a Yorkshire terrier there may a slight hitch here and there to which the world's attention may have to be drawn. The Queen may still be our Head of State but we can change, if we have to. President Harper sounds no worse than Prime Minister Harper.

Copyright 2010 Stargeazer